The Freedom of Boundaries
by Anya Sophia Mann
Your very first boundary is your skin. You became aware of that through your Mother's touch. Before that there was no boundary between you, her, and the world. There was no you. You were everything you saw, felt and experienced.
Personal boundaries are vital to your living from a place of self-empowered actions. Boundaries are about creating more space for you to be you, and not about keeping others out. When you create a healthy boundary you are taking personal responsibility for who you are, as you discover it. Boundaries are meant to be movable and changeable over time as you mature on all levels. You will learn so much about yourself when you create and share your boundaries.
The single most important point about boundaries is that the other person cannot know how to be around you without them! Most people dont take the time, or have the awareness, to set healthy boundaries for themselves that guide the other person as to what to do, how, where, and when. If you don't create boundaries for yourself then the other person is living in your back yard, so to speak. Imagine your own beautiful garden in your back yard and the next door neighbor's dog is roaming all around in there. Choosing to put up a fence as a boundary is more about you protecting and announcing your space than it is to keep the dog out. Ponder that important point.
If you make it be about keeping the other out you will remain in victim mode, rather than in the freedom of creating more space for you. It is healthy to have all kinds of boundaries in many different areas of your life. Closing your bedroom door is a boundary, not to push away someone else, but to create privacy and freedom of movement for you.
Boundaries are boundless in the areas in which you can have them. Even air space can have a boundary! For example, by asking your housemate to put on a headset while listening to the football game while you listen to your Sunday afternoon classical music while writing in the family room. Boundaries are flexible and negotiable. The invitation here is to take the time to set them, verbalize them, and act on them.
When the other persons bumps up against your boundary,
they know where you begin and they end.
Without a boundary you are playing victim to people walking all over you in all kinds of of ways. You will live in a very self-empowered way if you do that simple act of becoming more self aware and setting personal, as well as professional, boundaries. It's like crossing the street between the two yellow lines indicating to drivers that a pedestrian is in their boundary and not to encroach in that space. The world is a much happier more organized place in right relation, when you take the time to put boundaries in place.
Having proper healthy boundaries means walking in the world feeling good about you and being emotionally empowered. Everybody benefits from knowing their place and space in the world, when you do.
A N E W W O R L D Blogging With Anya
Anya Sophia Mann is a Visionary Intuitive Life Coach, Author and Speaker. She supports individuals and businesses in doing more of what they love (and came here to do) by creating environments for the conscious evolution of body, mind and soul. For details of classes, workshops and other events with Anya join her mailing list. She offers individual Sessions and personal Coaching and Mentoring.
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